I'm the first one down in the laundry room today
(Ha, ha, sucker!)
I've got twenty loads so you'll all have to wait
(Ha, ha, sucker!)
'Cause I'm spiteful now, how did I get so spiteful?
I know I'm really the worst, but I still got here first
Getting on the subway, I just take my time
(Ha, ha, sucker!)
Then I block the doorway so the train leaves you behind
(Ha, ha, sucker!)
'Cause I'm spiteful. Oh mercy me, I am so spiteful
But, I'm not changing my tune, and I'm not making room
Years of degredation have turned my insides black
So now in every situation, I'm mounting my suprise attack
Tonight I was invited to a birthday bash
(Ha, ha, sucker!)
And somehow all the presents would up in the trash
(Ha, ha, sucker!)
Well I was spiteful, I couldn't help it I was spiteful
It got me all in a huff, no one deserves all that stuff
Fury and frustration have worn my soul right through
So now my motto is dump it on them
Before they take a dump on you
But some nights I use hot sauce as nasal spray
(Ouch, ouch, Garry!)
I take a great, big sniff for every wrong I did that day
(Ouch, ouch, Garry!)
'Cause I'm spiteful. Oh heaven help me, I am spiteful
But, this is my saving grace: I hurt my nose to spite my face